Written by Lara Hornby.
After some serious research, doubts, deliberations and positive affirmations about menstrual cups I’ve finally done it!
I’m the owner of a Hello Cup and I’m feeling as proud as punch!
I’ve made my purchasing decision as a direct consequence of my absolute fear that one day, a single-use tampon might float past me in the ocean, trying to masquerade as a new species of sea life.
It won’t be long, and I’ll be receiving notification confirming my place amongst the world’s most influential environmental advocates, I tell myself. Not quite a Nobel Peace Prize but still, I’m guessing I’ll be right up there with the likes of Jane Goodall and Sylvia Earle - female pioneers and glass ceiling smashers, who have rocked this world with their passion and can-do attitudes.
Ok - maybe not, but every contribution helps and seriously, how bloody great (excuse the pun) is it that I no longer have to push chlorine bleached, synthetic tampons up my holy vijayjay?
So now, with my brand new cup in hand, I pledge to myself, Queen Beyoncé and all you ladies that as long as I shall menstruate I will nourish the Hello out of the walls of my uterus.
With the sun, moon and my uterus conveniently in alignment I am ready to plug this flow – but only after spending 30 minutes Instagramming the cute packaging and choosing the rudest emoji to reply to my boyfriend’s text, which is questioning why I have grammed “that period thing”.
Well cheers for the support, mate, but I’m off to figure out how to get that period thing into my vaginal cavity.
After mastering the punch down fold, I’m off to the shower to introduce this cup to its new home. I have some crazy idea that the steam and warmth of the shower will act as a kind of spiritual ritual, easing this unfamiliar item into my nether regions.
I think how handy all that yoga has come in, as I manoeuvre myself, raising my legs and bending my body, managing to quite easily insert my baby blue friend. “Surely this is too good to be true?” I wonder, as I jump merrily out of the shower and “go for a little walk” (as Mum would suggest when I had to try on the compulsory new pair of school shoes every year).
But guess what? I have a Hello Cup inside me and it feels GREAT. Actually I can’t feel it at all. With a quick celebratory booty shake I’m ready to carpe diem.
There are repeated toilet trips to check for leakage, but my first ‘test drive’ has me convinced. And with pristine clean knickers I congratulate myself on how incredibly well my Hello Cup maiden voyage is going.
After successfully completing my first removal, rinse and reinsert that’s it – I’m sold.
I am a full-blown fanny-owning Hello Cup user and there’s no going back. Sayonara toxic tampons and thanks for the past few years but it’s over, I’m moving on.
A final friendly word of advice from this now experienced Hello Cup user, just remember these fanny’s of ours are testing little creatures and not all first experiences go as swimmingly as mine. If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Relax! Take your first Hello Cup shower and work out what position works best for you. Standing, squatting, bending - you will work it out and once you’ve nailed it, you’ll find yourself yelling to the heavens (or the neighbours) “there’s no going back!”
- Lara Hornby
If you're keen to join the Hello Cup girl gang too - here's where you need to head: www.thehellocup.com/shop